Un couple d'artistes (1970)

... aka: Artistic Couple, An

... aka: Artistique Couple, An

Directed by:

Bruno Gantillon

What are your least favorite job interview questions? The one I always dreaded the most, also, as luck would have it, the most commonly asked, is "Why don't you tell me / us a little about yourself?" It's just so broad and generic that I never know how to start or how to condense my entire being, life, essence, work experience, what have you into an appealing little blurb. Even though I know the question is coming, and coming right away, it almost always leaves me tongue tied. The last time I interviewed, which was thankfully many years ago now, I decided to make it as short as possible. Name. Where I'm from. Education. The last job I had. I probably sounded like a robot but I suppose that's preferable to sounding like a stuttering, rambling, incoherent mess. One thing I never bring up is my writing. I don't tell them about any books or magazines or websites I've written for, and I certainly never tell them about this place. Why? Well, because then they will ask "What's it called?" and I really don't want to have to say "The Bloody Pit of Horror!" How do you even spit something like that one out to positive response? The sad part is that I know know that response would be almost universally positive had I instead written about, say, Disney movies, Star Wars or comic book superhero movies.

Not that I'm at all embarrassed or ashamed of what I like. I love horror, love being a horror fan and talking to other fans, love the movies and love writing, it's just that I've experienced first hand what some folks think of all this. Yes, the stigma against horror is indeed real. Years ago, a past employer who was so extreme on the hardcore Christian scale that he considered mainstream rock "devil music" found out what I did in my spare time and never looked at me quite the same way again. In fact, he switched from friendly to complete asshole virtually overnight. To him, my tastes indicated that there had to be something wrong with me, or defective about me. Perhaps he thought I was evil. Or a Satanist. Or a serial killer. I'm not so sure, but finding myself essentially being forced out of a job that I was good at, and more than qualified for, was an eye-opening experience. It also made me wonder if potential employers are actually owed any honesty in the initial interview, outside of things directly involved with the job. Why are they even privy to details about your hobbies or interests, or how you choose to spend your free time, even though that's another FAQ?

The opening of this 13-minute short, featuring a job interview with awkward, inappropriate and invasive questions clearly meant more as a means to judge rather than determine qualifications, brought back some fun memories then. College student Catherine Berne (Martine Deriche) answers an ad and shows up at an elderly couple's home looking for work. While the husband (Paul Bonifas) serves tea, she's drilled by the wife, Mrs. Faroy (Thalie Frugès). Instead of asking your usual questions, she inquires more about the young woman's personal life. She wants to know her age (20), where she comes from (the country), about her family (both parents are dead and her only sibling is in Italy working as a painter), what she's doing in Paris (she's studying art history) and whether or not she has a boyfriend (nope). Naïve Catherine tells her too much. She's only been in Paris for a couple of weeks, so no boyfriend, no family, no friends... These answers seem to please the couple.

The job is for a live-in housekeeper and cook, so Catherine moves in right away. They share a nice dinner, Catherine complements their interesting Chinese artwork and then it's time for bed. After Catherine goes to sleep, Mrs. Faroy sneaks into another room, turns a knob and gases the girl. She's knocked unconscious and has creepy visions of the couple repeating their line of questioning from earlier. She's then taken to a room, has her head shaved and is injected with something. Whatever is happening will be ready by morning. And did I mention that the couple make money selling wax figures to a museum?

Despite being extremely predictable (granted you've seen Mystery of the Wax Museum, House of Wax, NIGHTMARE IN WAX or any number of other similar titles), this is otherwise a well-made, well-acted short with an especially impressive final shot. It's pretty much exactly what it feels like, too: A means for an aspiring filmmaker to show that he knows what he's doing and is thus worthy to advance to feature film projects, which is exactly what happened. The following year, Gantillon made Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay (1971).

This is available on Youtube or as an extra on Mondo Macabro's 2005 Girl Slaves DVD release. The director didn't do any other genre films that I know of, though he did direct seven episodes of the syndicated series The Hitchhiker from 1989 to 1991.

★★1/2

Mio caro assassino (1972)

... aka: Folie meurtrière (Murderous Madness)

... aka: La ronda de la muerte (The Round of Death)

... aka: Sumario sangriento de la pequeña Estefania (Bloody Summary of Little Stefania)

... aka: My Dear Killer

... aka: O Carrasco da Mão Negra (The Black Hand Executioner)

... aka: Time to Kill, Darling!

Directed by:

Tonino Valerii

This Italian / Spanish co-production starts with a very cool pre-credits sequence of a man at a rock quarry being grabbed by the neck by a excavator claw, lifted off the ground and decapitated, but don't get your hopes up. It's one of the only memorable moments in the entire film! The victim - insurance investigator Umberto Paradisi (Francesco Di Federico) - had curiously rented the piece of heavy machinery for one day only, and the operator - Mario Anzuini (Remo De Angelis) - has vanished without a trace. Police inspector Luca Peretti (George Hilton - THE SWEET BODY OF DEBORAH) is on the case. First assuming Mario accidentally killed the man, panicked and then fled, their initial theory soon falls apart when Mario is killed himself. Though found hanging, Luca determines that he was actually murdered and the scene was staged to look like a suicide. 

Believing the excavator was rented for the sole purpose of finding something in a swampy lake at the quarry, Luca orders it thoroughly searched, and then interviews both a strange old couple (Dante Maggio, Lola Gaos) living near the quarry and Umberto's former employer (Corrado Gaipa - CRAZY DESIRES OF A MURDERER). The same name comes up both times: Moroni.

Umberto had been tasked with investigating insurance claims made by the Moroni family. Their young daughter, Stefania ("Daniela Rachele Barnes" / Lara Wendel, in her film debut), was kidnapped. That was followed by an extortion attempt that was paid by her family, but when the father, Alessandro (Piero Lulli), tried to follow a mediator to the location of the blackmailers, he too disappeared and was found dead a month later, along with the little girl. Alessandro's insurance policy mentions the names of four people who'd been interviewed during the investigation: Eleonora "Rita" Canavese-Moroni (the wife), Oliviero Moroni (brother), Giorgio Canavese (brother-in-law) and Paola Rossi (a teacher). Luca decides to acquaint himself with all of these people.

Meanwhile, Umberto's widow (a wasted Helga Liné) shows up to identify the corpse and attempts to aid the police in the investigation. However, she's stopped dead in her tracks when a black gloved killer stalks and kills her in a highly unbelievable scene where she's strangled with her own scarf in the middle of the day in a very crowded post office. Though there were many witnesses to the crime (though apparently not a single one who tried to help the victim), none can seem to agree on what the killer looked like. The only clue left behind is a child's drawing clutched in the victim's hand, which leads investigators to a school called Instituto Benedettine.

At the school, Luca consults Paola Rossi (Patty Shepard), who'd previously been questioned by Umberto. She helps place the drawing as having been made just a week prior to Stefy's disappearance. Later that night, she inadvertently lets the killer into her apartment because she personally knows whoever it is and is then killed with an electric saw, making a complete mess of her spotless white kitchen in the process! For an encore he bashes her skull in with a statue, though that takes place off-screen and we only hear about it later.

Our hero then pays a visit to the dreary Moroni household and discovers that Stefy's mother, Eleanora (Dana Ghia), has gone mad and is still expecting her little girl to return home from school at any moment. Slightly more help, or at least a little more lucid, are brother-in-law Oliviero (Tullio Valli) and his wife, Carla (Mónica Randall - THREE DAYS IN NOVEMBER). While Oliviero, who lost an arm in the war, holds his late brother in high esteem, Carla resents him for having been a charlatan and a leech.

The other Moroni brother, Beniamino (Alfredo Mayo - VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST), is an artist and used to take little Stefy outside for long periods of time, he claims, to shield her from her parents' constant bickering. The two were on the verge of divorcing. His creepy artwork centers around dismembered baby doll parts and he's seen in his studio with a naked pre-pubescent girl, whom he claims is "a model." Then there's Eleanora's shady brother, Giorgio (William Berger), who owns an international shipping company involved in illegal activity; potentially drug smuggling. Giorgio may also enjoy the company of underage girls employed by a local brothel, just in case we needed a second potential child molester on the suspects list. Luca assures him that if he's willing to cooperate that no one will ever find out about any of that though (!)

Lumbering, talky, overlong and filled with multiple sketchy suspects and possible motives behind the crimes, this is a fairly competent example of the giallo subgenre, but middling and (mostly) bland all the same. Leaning very heavily into the police procedural side of these films, there are endless scenes of Luca and his colleagues, Chief Marò (Salvo Randone) and Brigadier Bozzi (Manuel Zarzo), standing around, sitting around, walking around or driving around discussing the case, plus endless scenes of Luca drilling various suspects. Because so much time is spent with the cops, most of the supporting cast (and there are actually some good actors in this bunch) are stuck playing flat, uninteresting roles. Sadly, that also includes whoever it is who's laying the killer. The person is so ill-defined that the big reveal doesn't hold any kind of impact whatsoever. It may as well have been a complete stranger.

Similarly, the direction here is extremely workmanlike. It's not stylish or creative, merely adequate, and the few murder set pieces, which should be highlights, are poorly staged and lacking in suspense. Though Valerii had previously co-written a couple of Gothic horror films (Crypt of the Vampire and THE LONG HAIR OF DEATH), he doesn't seem to have much flair for this kind of stuff; which is probably why he's better known for spaghetti westerns like My Name Is Nobody (1973). A good example of botched potential is Shepard's death scene. While memorably bloody, the execution leading up to it kind of undermines its overall effectiveness. After running away from the killer, she "hides" by standing right in the middle of her kitchen with the door wide open, then stares at the killer, turns her back, crouches down and just lets the person saw her to death!

There are completely disposable characters wedged in here, as well, especially poor Marilù Tolo in a completely useless role as Luca's girlfriend, Dr. Anna Borgese. Being a doctor and all, you'd assume she'd come in handy helping to create a psychological profile of the killer or something, or at least be put in jeopardy at some point herself, but nope! The only reason she's in this is to appear topless a couple of times. She looks miserable and all of her dialogue is huffing and puffing that the detective is too busy to spend any time with her. Nobody cares!

Four different writers, including the director and Roberto Leoni (Santa Sangre), are credited with the messy script. The best thing to extract from this one is the nicely eerie score composed by Ennio Morricone, with Bruno Nicolai serving as conductor. The soundtrack is available from Death Waltz Recording Company.

While this was not theatrically released here in the U.S., it was in France, Italy, Spain, Brazil and some other countries (mainly in Europe). This also never received any kind of home video release in the 80s or 90s here. It wouldn't be until 2003 that Shriek Show finally got it out in an English-subtitled DVD. The British company Salvation also distributed an English-friendly version in the early 2000s. In 2020, Vinegar Syndrome included this in their box set "Forgotten Gialli Volume 2," which also includes French Sex Murders (1972) and The Girl in Room 2A (1974). Extras for this title include the rare English-dubbed print of the film, a new interview with co-writer Leoni and archival interviews with the director and star Hilton.

★★